Everyone might have had a pebble or two in his or her shoe some time or other. But here the shoe is the day-to-day life itself; so I don’t need to explain what the pebble is. It’s these small, nagging thoughts that eventually weigh me down. Some pebbles have been hidden, undetected for years. Others push, prod, and make their presence felt every day. Each pebble intrudes into my life at the most unsuspected time. These pebbles arrive at different times in my life. Although they seem tiny small, they represent many unresolved thoughts, images and experiences. They form from a single thought that occurred years, months or weeks before. Some pebbles are lodged only in my office shoes. Many slipped into my house slippers also, thus I am nearly done both inside and outside. Unfortunately, some pebbles travel in all my shoes regardless of where I walk or run.
Some pebbles are of fear, if I could say so. Others may be mostly out of rejection or shame. Maybe not today, but they eventually arrive unannounced and usually at the most inappropriate time. But then the thought of the pebble itself – many times – pose a challenge to me.
While trekking the race of life at my most efficient speed, I should have been free of embarrassment, guilt, rejection, fear, envy, jealousy, anger, impatience, frustration or worry. But effectively all of them found their way into my shoe at one time or other. These pebbles have been crippling. They were capable of destroying relationships. They contribute to laziness or at times leave me blank. They finished the potential in me physically and yes; these remained the pebbles in my shoe, for years.
These pebbles left me silent to an otherwise reasonably active personality. I wonder whether the pebble in my shoes is a desire for fame, fortune or power?
I do not think so because these pebbles usually stirred up my past, cloud the future and kept my present in dilemma. My trekking road is such that I am unable to prevent the pebble getting into my shoes or removing it before the pebble starts finishing me.
[This is how I perceive the life and thoughts of an ordinary executive who works day in and day out to reach heights]
Madhu K. Nair [23rd June 2013]